How to Talk to Your Parents About Estate Planning

A practical guide for Western Australian families

Introduction

Most of us know we should talk to our parents about estate planning. Few of us actually do it.

It is not because we do not care. It is because the conversation feels uncomfortable. It touches on death, money and family — all at once. So we put it off, telling ourselves there is plenty of time.

The problem is that time is not always on our side. If a parent loses capacity before they have a Will or an Enduring Power of Attorney in place, the family's options become limited and the process becomes significantly harder and more expensive for everyone.

This article is a practical guide to help you open the door to that conversation, at the right moment and in the right way.

Why this conversation matters

The most important thing to understand is this: an estate plan is about your parent having the legal documents in place to make sure their wishes are carried out and that the people they love are looked after.

Without a valid Will, your parent's estate will be distributed according to a fixed formula under the Administration Act 1903 (WA). That formula does not account for your family's individual circumstances or relationships. Assets may go to people your parent would not have chosen.

Without an Enduring Power of Attorney (EPA), no one has legal authority to manage your parent's financial affairs if they lose capacity. That includes paying bills, managing bank accounts and making decisions about the family home. Even a spouse or adult child has no automatic authority to act without one. The only alternative is a formal application to the State Administrative Tribunal (SAT), which is stressful for everyone involved.

Without an Enduring Power of Guardianship (EPG), there is no one with legal authority to make decisions about your parent's medical treatment or living arrangements if they can no longer make those decisions themselves.

None of this requires complicated documents to fix. A Will, an EPA and an EPG are straightforward to put in place. The hard part is usually starting the conversation.

When is the right time to raise it?

There is no perfect moment. But some situations make it easier to raise naturally:

• after the death of a friend or relative of your parents

• when a parent mentions a health concern or upcoming surgery

• when a parent retires or sells a business

• when a significant asset changes hands, such as a property sale

• at a family gathering where the whole family is together.

Raising it early, before there is any urgency, is far better than waiting for a crisis. Once a parent loses mental capacity, it is too late to make an EPA. At that point, the only option is a formal SAT application, which takes time, costs money and removes the family from the decision entirely.

How to start the conversation

You do not need to have all the answers before you raise the topic. You just need to open the door.

Here are some approaches that tend to work well:

"I have been thinking about getting my own Will sorted and it made me wonder whether yours is up to date."

"A friend of mine recently went through a really difficult time after their parent passed away without having things organised. It made me think about our family."

"I just want to make sure that if something happened to you, I would be able to help. Is there anything you need me to know?"

These approaches shift the focus from death and money onto care and family. Most parents respond well when they understand the conversation is about making things easier for the people they love, not about inheritance.

What you are hoping to find out

This is not an interview. You are not there to audit your parents or collect information for yourself. The goal is simply to understand whether they have the documents they need and whether those documents are still current.

Over the course of one or more conversations, there are a few things that are genuinely helpful to know.

Whether a Will exists and when it was last reviewed. A Will should be looked at after any major life change, such as a marriage, separation, the birth of grandchildren or a significant change in assets.

Whether an EPA and EPG are in place and whether the people appointed have actually signed their acceptance of the role. Many people are surprised to learn that an EPA or EPG has no legal effect until the attorney or guardian signs. Simply naming someone in the document is not enough.

Where the original documents are stored. Original Wills and powers of attorney are legal documents and need to be kept safely. It is worth knowing that someone trustworthy can find them when needed.

Whether there is a solicitor the family can contact. If something happens unexpectedly, knowing who holds the documents and who to call makes a difficult time much easier to navigate.

That is all you need. You do not need to know the contents of the Will or the details of your parent's assets. That information belongs to your parent, and they will share what they want to share in their own time.

What if your parent is resistant?

Some parents find the topic confronting and push back. This is normal and does not mean the conversation has failed.

Keep the focus on them. If the conversation feels like it is about inheritance or control, parents will shut down. Come back to the simple point: you want to make sure their wishes are respected and that you can help them if they ever need it.

Start small. You do not have to cover everything at once. Even knowing that a Will exists and is reasonably current is a useful starting point. The rest can follow over time.

Suggest a professional conversation. Sometimes it is easier for a parent to hear this from a solicitor than from their own children. Offering to sit in on a meeting with a lawyer, rather than conducting the conversation at the kitchen table, can take a lot of the pressure off.

It also means the legal side is handled properly without the family dynamic getting in the way.

Come back to it. If the first conversation does not go well, let it rest. It is worth trying again later rather than not raising it at all.

What if your parent has already lost capacity?

If your parent no longer has mental capacity, it is too late to make a Will or an EPA. This is a difficult situation but there are still options depending on the circumstances.

An application can be made to the SAT under the Guardianship and Administration Act 1990 (WA) for the appointment of an administrator to manage financial affairs and a guardian to make personal decisions. These are court-supervised roles with ongoing reporting obligations.

If your parent made a Will at a time when they had capacity, that Will remains valid even if capacity is later lost.

If your parent has no Will and passes away, their estate will be distributed under the intestacy provisions of the Administration Act 1903 (WA). An eligible person will need to apply to the Supreme Court of Western Australia for letters of administration before the estate can be dealt with.

None of these pathways is straightforward. They all take time and involve costs that earlier planning would have avoided.

A simple starting point

If you are not sure how to approach the conversation, sometimes the simplest thing is to make it about you first.

Book your own appointment. Get your own Will, EPA and EPG reviewed or put in place. Then mention it to your parents. It is a natural way to open the topic without any pressure, and it gives you something concrete to talk about rather than raising the subject in the abstract.

If your parents express any interest, offer to help them make an appointment too.

How we can help

At Crystal Lawyers, we help Perth families with estate planning every day. If your parents are open to a review of their documents, or if you are not sure where things stand, we offer a free initial assessment.

Call us on 0421 145 637 or email val@crystallawyers.com.au to make an appointment.

This is general information only and does not constitute legal advice. If you would like advice specific to your circumstances, please contact us.